I wanna look like this again

I miss wearing more than just black.

I miss having a waistline.

I miss not waddling when I walk.

I miss being able to exercise.

I miss feeling sexy.

I miss my jeans.

I know it is totally selfish and self-centered of me, but I miss the non-pregnant me.

I wanna look like this again.

Productive Day

This morning we cleaned like crazy for our 6th showing on the house. The house was listed on the 1st of the month. Tomorrow we have our second open house and on Wednesday, we have our 7th showing scheduled. After cleaning, I was off to class and Josh was off to grandma and grandpa's house with the kiddos.

After class, I went to Target and spent a lot of money, but I picked up some essentials, some gifts for the kids for Easter and even some baby prep items. I then ventured off to Great Harvest Bread Company for some deliciously fresh baked bread. (No wonder I am the size of a house--I love bread soooo much!)

By the time I got home it was about 1:30. At this time I unloaded the Tribute, which took about 4 trips with all of my school bags and purchases. I unloaded said purchases, switched the laundry, made a sandwich and sat down on the couch and started watching part of a movie. This was my break from the two papers I had already written previously this morning. By the way, the windows were open the whole time and it was lovely. After procrastinating by finishing my movie, I knocked out five more papers before dinner. For breaks in between papers, I would do little things like water the plants or check facebook and I also dug out a "baby bag" to start packing someday soon. After feeling a little burned out of writing reflective papers, I heated up some leftovers (pizza--yet another reason I am the size of a house) and then made a loaf of banana bread (yep--third reason in this post for body and baby size).

My banana bread was smelling heavenly when I cut up some strawberries, and just about the time I put them in the frig my babies arrived home. We talked about their days and played a little bit, then we finally got in the bathroom for tubbies once they each had some jelly beans out of the new Easter dish I found at Target today. We scrubbed and soaked and got all pruny, got lotioned up and dressed, then we were off to do Jackson's stretches. Two bedtime stories, a little rocking-chair time and hugs and kisses sent the munchkins to bed.

At this point I unpacked some stuff from my breast pump and decided to sterilize the tubing and bottles, lids, etc...those are currently air drying on the counter. I wrapped a birthday present for my nieces birthday party that is tomorrow at my brothers and this is where I am at. I have two loads of laundry sitting on my bed, waiting to be folded...after that, I think I am done. It has been a very productive day.

A new list is easier...

Okay, revising my list was getting more confusing by the minute, so we'll do an end-of-the-week update.

1. I am DONE, yes, I said DONE with my paper! I have small revisions to do once my professor sends it back, but the major amount of man-hours have been invested and it is finally in the last stages. Yeah! I think I would do a cart-wheel right now if I didn't have a watermelon in my stomach.

2. I have not done a single paper for my Reflection class, nor am I upset by that at all. I was able to cross off the most important priority from my to-do list and I will squeeze them in somehow, I always do.

3. We are set for our 2nd interview with the other daycare tonight. I really want this whole process to be done so that we can start to plan ahead. We may even start to transition the kids into the new daycare this summer if it works out with the one that we chose.

4. The blood tests match the kids' skin test results. It looks like Jackson is allergic to neither peanuts nor eggs, (Yea!) so we will be doing a "food challenge" for each in the next month and half. Joslynn is still allergic to eggs, but the allergist thinks that for ease of living we will do the challenge with her too so that we know if she can at least eat eggs in baked goods, etc. Phewww! I am excited with the results and we will only learn more with the upcoming appointments.

5. Oh, yeah, the Honors essay tests I need to grade. Uhm...let's just say, I'm workin' on it. I think I have graded like 8 or so. That doesn't really even make a dent, but maybe this weekend???

6. I spent 4 very unwanted, but incredibly necessary hours at school yesterday morning. I printed off countless papers and have a huge chunk of my next school-month planned out. I have just a few little things to take care of and I am set!

7. Maternity Leave Letter is written, proof-read and printed! Ready to go!

8. I have two major phone calls to make with questions about more therapy for Jackson. One should be taken care of today, the other I can take care of in person at school.

9. Okay, poor baby...we are going to find you some clothes here soon. I am literally going to go and start sorting as soon as this post is published!

10. Pedicure...you've never sounded so good! I can't wait for tomorrow!

Lists are the trend (revised 3/9/11)

Since reading several other blogs that contain Spring Break To-Do Lists, I think that I probably need to organize my thoughts a bit and do the same. I am typically more inclined to follow through once I have written it down.

1. I need to start and finish (or as close as humanly possible) my action research paper. As of now, I have 52 pages of paper written; that is just the first part. Now, I need to actually discuss my results and interpret them and blah, blah, blah. I think I have not only been procrastinating on this because of everything going on, but also because I was so disappointed that my research was nearly obliterated by the clickers that were so moody and decided to work and not work at inopportune times. I have started, now I just need to finish...my goal is no later than Friday to have this thing in the bag... I have one section left (rough draft) and I am waiting to hear feedback on the rest, but then I am done with the exception of small little revisions etc. My goal has now shifted to being 100% done with my rough draft by Thursday at noon. (I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel!)

2. Reflect on my masters degree. I need to write as many of my 10 totally ridiculous and pointless papers that will go into my (also) worthless e-folio that no one will ever look at and will only collect cyber-dust. Can you tell I am super excited to cross this one off my list?

3. Interview with 2 1 daycare(s). I have meetings set up with them already. I also need to do some more research and calling about a few other potential options. The first interview went very well. I think we feel better already knowing that we have one very good option.

4. Take the kids to the allergist. We have been wondering for a while if the kids still have their egg allergy, and we would also like to see someone else, so we are having them retested. Skin test results: Jackson is allergic to kitties. Joslynn is still allergic to eggs. We did a blood test to look a little further because evidently skin tests have a 50% chance of showing false positives...Hhmf. We will know more later in the week, but I am hopeful that we can eliminate some allergies here.

5. Grade 61 honors science essay tests. Kat--you are so stupid, yet you challenge your students to think critically at the same time. It's never a nice balance.

6. Plan the details for my next unit: weather. I will start this the day we return from break and I have no copies made, so you know what that means...I have to go to school sometime. I really don't want to, but I have a huge mess in my room and really need to sort through stuff here soon. I think this is going to be my Thursday morning task...

7. Write a letter to my students' parents about my maternity leave. I really don't know how to start off or what to say, but I think that many, especially kids with disabilities and/or the honors students' parents will appreciate a "heads up" about the fact that their teacher will be missing close to a quarter of teaching their child. DONE! and proofread, thank you Holly.

8. Make some more insurance & therapy type phone calls. We need to look into some alternative therapies for Jackson. On the docket, horseback riding and swimming... Just need to ask some more questions at PT today and then talk to a friend from work about swimming...Becky- I mean you.

9. Dig out the teeny-tiny baby clothes. I need to wash them and find somewhere in this tiny little house to put more kids' clothes, diapers, wipes, blankies, etc, etc, etc. Tiny little diapers are put away...I still need to dig out the clothes though. That is on the list for tonight. The clothes are out...now the sorting, and washing process. I think I might do that now to take a break from my paper while I wait for feedback.

10. My final thing to do on my list is meet my good friend for a pedicure. Both of our husbands got us gift certificates to DayLily for Valentines. We will put them to good use. My feet look horrendous; I hope I don't traumatize the poor schmuck who gets stuck working on my feet next Saturday.

I have only listed 10 things here, although it feels like a thousand! Wish me luck and hope for no writers-block!

Names

Josh and I have always kept our baby names somewhat secret because, for one, we didn't want others passing judgement, and two, we just didn't tell because we didn't feel like it. Well, for baby number three, things get a little more challenging in the name department, as I hope you can imagine. (Especially since we are both teachers, and also since we have come up with two other kids' names thus far.) It gets harder as you go along.

We have four names picked out. Two girl names and two boy names. We have been tossing these name ideas back and forth for quite some time and we are having a hard time narrowing it down. I jokingly suggested that I should blog about it and see what my "readers" think. Since only a handful of people actually read this, we hope to get a little input on our impending name decision.

If you would be so kind, please vote for ONE boy name, and ONE girl name. If you have any specific suggestions, you know where to find me.

Beware: Angry, bitter tirade follows

Writing has been my way to relieve stress for as long as I can remember, that, and running, but since I can hardly waddle myself along, I think the running is out of the question, which makes this post even more of a necessity for my own sanity. If you are not in the mood to be brought down by my tirade, then please, exit out of this screen right now, because I can assure you, I have nothing positive to say right now.

The past month of my life has been the most trying ever. It seems like it is just one thing after the other. I thought life was busy enough being a mom of two, who works full time while pursuing a second degree, but then when you throw in things like being uncomfortably pregnant, trying to sell a house, preparing for maternity leave, and doing most of this as a "single mom" isn't easy when your husband is not home many nights and weekends. Juggling kids' appointments and my own were challenging enough and then came Jackson's diagnosis. I think I was slightly in denial, but I never expected something so huge. With that news has come so much emotion and fear and uncertainty; I hate that.

To top things off, my body has decided to be uncooperative and give me blood clots in my leg, springing on extra trips to the doctor. Now, with the fact that I am a "genetic mutation carrier" I am evidently at risk for cardiomyopathy, which is a heart condition; I now need to be screened with an echocardiogram and an EKG ever year/ or few years. I am already starting to feel like a lab rat. Just when you are stupid enough to think that you can't take any more stress, your daycare tells you that they do not have a place for your new baby in the fall. This leaves us with two options. Option 1: Find a completely new daycare for all three children--yeah, good luck with that! Option 2: Find a place for new baby alone and have to split the kids up between two daycares, meaning they won't see each other and play together during the first year of new baby's life. That makes me really sad for all of them.

During all of this, I am evidently supposed to be keeping up on the 9 papers that are due in about a month for my one class that is completely worthless and a total waste of my time and money, and I am supposed to be finishing my action research paper and adding onto my, already 50+ page paper, in order to graduate on time, which I am dead set on doing. I just have no idea how I will accomplish this. I am so distracted that I can't focus on the things that I need to.

Instead of sitting down to do some necessary school writing, I am looking into daycares, calling insurance companies, signing up for research sites, scheduling doctor appointments, researching therapy treatments, signing up for cord blood (stem cell) kits and information, cleaning the house and taking "sell worthy pictures" and searching for the best mobility devices that I can. Somehow I still need to manage to stay caught up with my planning and grading and all my every day job duties. I have to juggle my teacher hat, student hat, mom and wife hat and somehow make it all come together. I could really use spring break right now.

Scrub-a-dub-dub, two munchkins in the tub

The munchkins like to help hold each other while they get their hair washed. Tonight's pics were especially cute.