Summer and its pregnancy alternatives...

So, my due date is 2 days away...

They always say that it's good to be able to laugh at yourself...so in my last days of this pregnancy I have done a lot of daydreaming about what I would/could be doing if I weren't pregnant, and then just chuckle to myself when I consider the alternative route that I take to make life bearable...

(daydreaming: harp music and the "wavy blur" happen now)

1. I would be sitting outside in a lawn chair, in a bikini, enjoying the sun's beautiful rays.

Alternative: Sitting inside like a hermit because I ran out of clothes that fit weeks, no, wait a minute, months ago...

2. I could be sitting inside of Joslynn's little play pool with her, keeping cool and enjoying the heat of summer.

Alternative: I grunt and groan to lower myself into a lawn chair beside her pool and just put my swollen feet in so I don't overflow the pool...

3. I could go for a run in the morning and even push Joslynn in the jogger with me...

Alternative:  I wave as she and Josh take off and then I lay on the couch for a quick cat nap...

4. I could shoplift watermelons at the supermarket...

Alternative: I actually got (teasingly) accused of doing so...

5. In the evening, I could sit out on our lawn swing with a nice cool, adult beverage and snuggle up with Josh...

Alternative: I fall asleep on the couch, spill my water (because it fell off the belly shelf) and Josh has to give me a push (or pull) to help me up...

6. I would go to a pool or beach and enjoy the water there...

Alternative: A cold shower...let's face it, I'll spare the world that terror.

7. I would go and get an actual pedicure, because Lord knows my feet need it...

Alternative: I attempted to give myself one, out of courtesy for the salon workers--honestly, it was like a Weeble Wobble reaching for its feet!

8.  I would go out for an afternoon/evening walk...

Alternative: I think I'll stay inside with my feet up and blog...

Ahh...life's little miracles...